No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
