he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
