another moral hangover. fuck.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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