it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
