Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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