If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
We're too hungover to prance.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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