I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
