I accidentally burped into my bong.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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