Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
