I can tuck mytits in my pants
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
