He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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