What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
So many bounce houses so little time
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
