ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
