Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
whose parrot is this?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
