Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
