i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
