new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i may or may not be watching the land before time
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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