Buhtt sex?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
