Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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