Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
