No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
