well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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