I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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