I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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