True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
