woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
