Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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