good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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