sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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