I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Randomize
