Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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