I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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