Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
