i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
