she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Randomize
