smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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