Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
