It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
