Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Watching her eat just hurts me
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
