It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
