Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
