I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
