that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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