exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
so let's talk penis.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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