Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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