don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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