i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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