I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
