I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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