I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
