My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
